Are you possessive? How does it affect your relationship?
In relationships, jealousy is normal and healthy, when you love and want to keep to be loved. In fact, it would be quite unusual to not feel any jealousy when your beautiful woman flirts with boyfriends. But when things get out of control, jealousy can destroy love. Possessiveness is part of our nature in relationships and jealousy is part of being possessive. However, it often happens that a person is prone to jealousy (because of his personality or his past experiences) and does not realize when jealousy is normal and when it is inappropriate or excessive. Excessive jealousy can cause significant damage in a relationship and may even lead to the end.

Fear, care and paranoia
The first effects of excessive jealousy to a person are fear, worry and paranoia. A jealous person who has a relationship with another person will have the impression that every person of the opposite sex wants to be in contact with your loved one and this can be a potential threat. Someone has “bad luck” to love an extrovert and who has a sociable behavior. This will probably higher up jealousy which will be intentionally interpreted. Excessive jealousy is caused by paranoia and constant worry. Paranoia is not jealous when a person realizes that begins to create scenarios that are unrelated to reality and consistently expect your loved one be wrong. Gradually, jealousy becomes a prophecy like “I know that he really loves me and I ‘m certainly wrong.” The result is that often the persons who relate jealousy will tend to defend themselves.
Sincerity is an important element to fight one of the most important sides of a relationship. If there were past infidelities, lies and deception, jealousy is a valid basis. You have to confront past mistakes because the relationship can continue in a sincere manner indifferent of a third person who wants to interfere. Ask advice from a close friend, an objective, where you can have both confidence and a psychologist or therapist for the problems of torque, it is best to ask an opinion of a third person. Often, people involved in this situation become defensive and the problem becomes impossible to solve.
This is a problem of the whole universe. Although jealous men are desperate to find a woman to love and to worship, after failing to have, possessive men remain in a state of despair caused by a fear to lose. This morbid panic usually occurs because of lack of confidence or self-esteem. They think that really they are not worth the partner, so they try to subdue and make her more dependent on them. It is commonplace today that increasingly more men feel confused because of lack of confidence in their own person or sub-appreciation.
Many women are not be able to recognize at first sight a jealous or possessive man. Many times he can be charming and handsome, has all the world at his feet or so it seems, and she has no reason to doubt that this is her real prince . She hadn’t got that over this role of a good boy, he is only a first stage manifestation of an obsessed Othello … However, if a girl could find from the beginning with whom she has to deal, life could be more beautiful.
I noticed for the first time ” the obsessive man syndrome” after a few years earlier at faculty. At the end of courses, an impressive procession of “friends” waiting on the street or in cars, with their delicious hearts. Many of them were doing this just as a sign of courtesy or affection. Balloon illusions shattered suddenly when a colleague told me she could not even go for coffee after classes for her friend does not like this and insisted to postpone and behave according to their daily schedule. If she wanted to go somewhere else, she had to announce her boyfriend the day before.
This shocking revelation may be familiar to many women who read these lines since I realized how big this problem is. The key word in this case is lack of confidence. Usually, jealous and possessive men are obsessed with the thought that love can be stolen from under the nose anytime. They do not trust her or her words of love and ignore the fact that they suspect her with other men. Thus continuously, her partner really cares about her, but she devises, moment by moment, a plan to escape from his hands at the first occasion. And why? The simple reason is that somewhere deep in their souls, they feel they deserve to be superior. These feelings create a major dilemma for a possessive man. “If she wants, really, to run away from me, how do you stay?” The answer is right for itself: “All you have to do is for her to become dependent on me to determine I want and do not go anywhere without me. Even if I go out every night with the boys! ” A man who does not love himself cannot understand what could be loved by a woman, but she needs to feel that they are loved and wants her always show how much you could do. Such a man will insist always on “positive attitude” as the two of them stay home as much together and group social activities of women will disappear into the thin air. “Home is where you’re always in my eyes. “
As your relationship progresses, the possessive man will find new ways to ensure that the partner will not peel. He can invent, for example, fictional scenarios that needs help and support , which will remove the woman of her social circle. She will prefer to remain near her partner and support rather than meet some friends. At first, such a step is part of building a romantic relationship. After all, every woman wants to spend as much time near the man she loves. But if he belongs to the category of possession, he will make sure that, little by little, his partner will remove all friends and her daily activities, he can reach even the stage and show her love that her friends are not actually friends. He will progressively isolate his own needs and objectives.
After the completion of isolation, the possessive man will move to a new stage, which will be critical to the partner and will make see a distorted mirror to be sure that she loses self-trust. If the woman has little appreciation for herself, why else would she think she deserves to appreciate? The possessive type will repeat how lucky she is because he would always say he loves her and what she really is. Finally, he creates a degree of dependence and fear causing the woman to believe what he says. The identity of such women dissipates and her friends will ask, disappointed and worried, why they are ignored …
At this stage, the jealous and the possessive man brought her where he had wanted from the beginning – isolation and domination. He feels better about himself because now the partner depends on him, but that does not mean he came to trust her, because he always thinks she concocts a conspiracy to escape. The possessive type does not believe even now that they are loved, but always needs evidence and renewed proofs of love.
Both male friends and those of the woman will have no idea of what is going on, but they may suspect what is happening in this couple. He will still be a “gang type” in his social circles, but she can get to the point of the subject to be afraid to leave the house to not get home chilling scenes. This is not an authentic way to live your life. Ironically, a small dose of jealousy can do wonders in a couple. Women and men like to be loved and desired and a firm hand grab can be an opportunity of amusement. Small portions of jealousy (very small and very playful) can create an attractive sexy atmosphere. But when things go too far … Many women admit that a man without the slightest pang of jealousy cannot be fully loved. A man can sometimes show through gestures of affection that he does not want to be obsoleted by his love. These shades bring pleasure to the partner in a couple. But things should not be pushed too far!
There are many reasons why men are more possessive in the contemporary society. It is possible that the prosperous careers of women and gaining the ability to become financially and socially independent, make men feel endangered. The role of husband and father, their voice dominant in the house, loses force nowadays. To compensate these things, they can try to re-evaluate their role in a relationship. Old habits die, but difficult, and some men are still trying to cling to conceptions under which they were educated. It may take long to find that they are always first in a relationship and you have to pay attention to their partner’s needs as they are paying attention to them.

Men who are not satisfied with their role in a household, are deprived of masculinity. This is related to career frustration, lack of the financial success, parental dominant influence and comfort with their own and they can easily fall prey to possessive progressive tendencies. To be with someone does not mean to possess her as a thing. To be loved is an open invitation, not something that should be captured and imprisoned.
A happy man should be confident. He has no problems with possessiveness and jealousy. Although some aspects of couple relationships may not be shared, he cherishes his independence and her system of values, just as he cherishes his own. A relationship between a man and a woman implies sharing, but also freedom of expression and personal identity in a couple. Each member in such relationship is born and lives by genuine mutual trust.
Men are jealous and possessive and wretched pathetic creatures that can be seen every day. Every woman should not be complicit in being with them as they deserve no woman. The big irony is that the man is relaxed and sure he will never remove a woman, while one lacks self-esteem and will force the very thing making it happen that you dreaded most. The fact to be left … If you are a woman arrived at the end of your patience because you need friends and family to support you in dealing with a person who has serious psychological problems. His nature will try to bring you back, he will try every way to make you think you need him and will insist on weaknesses which he himself has created in you.
Signals of potential danger to a man jealous / possessive
- Critical of women’s appearance and suggestions about how you should dress
- He is concerned about the places where the woman socializes
- Insistence to drive a woman even in the most trivial or sordid places
- Try to change the social sphere of women
- Phone very often to find where she always is
- The inability to discuss and communicate
- Attempts to assert superiority and make women feel inferior in any field
- Lack of vision, respect and confidence
- Aggressive or irrational attitude towards minor details.
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